Do people just 'get on your nerves?'

October 23, 2013

Do people just

'get on your nerves?'

 

I'm going to let you in on a secret right here, right now.

No one can make you feel any kind of way but yourself.

 

No one can make you angry, no one can make you upset, no one can frustrate you. It's all in your mind.

 

I had a friend named Mary and she was always getting into it with people. Yesterday, we were in a meeting and Jan had a problem with her. Jan told Mary, "You're always taking everything over. That's why no one helps you." Jan went on and on about it until Mary couldn't take it anymore and she jumped in with both guns drawn.

 

She amped up her volume about 3 notches so that she could over talk Jan. And when Jan didn't want to stop talking, because she wasn't finished talking, Mary got more aggressive and even louder.

 

I had to jump in and shut everything down totally because I could sense that the two were about a couple seconds from unleashing their claws and full out catfighting.

 

Later that evening I had a chance to talk to Mary and see what was in her mind. She said she's not for people disrespecting her and she would punch somebody in the mouth. She said I was on Jan's side and that I always let everyone else talk but I never let her talk.

 

I explained to her that when they talk, she jumps in to cut them off and that causes an escalation. And when she talks she's so aggressive, and that provokes them to be aggressive and then comes the escalation again.

 

 Do people just 'get on your nerves?'

 

The true explanation of how she's being triggered based on the past. I told her how an old man once told me that if someone can make me angry then they have control of me.

 

He said, "If someone can use their words and make you loose your cool, then they win. They just moved you from your square. They are in control. They can toy with you anytime they want. You are their puppet."

 

Now that may not move you, but me being a scorpio and obsessed with self control, that really made me take a look at me blowing my cool or allowing someone to frustrate me.

 

Regardless of any of that, I don't want just any old person being able to come up and control me. Someone being able to say a few words to me and that ruining my entire day doesn't seem logical to me. I have to live my day, not someone else, I should be the one who dictates how I feel throughout my day. I'm the only one who has to deal with it.

 

You feel me?

 

 

 Do people just 'get on your nerves?'

 

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